submitted by thirtysecondtaylor
…how is this a pickup line?
(Source: unfollow-us)
@Joanna
Now that he’d told her, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Not completely, but the load definitely lessened and he leaned into her, wedging between her and the back of the couch. Dean was still propped on his elbow enough to still look at her fully, nodding at her statement.
“Yeah, that was a given. Now that I know he’s mine, I’m gonna do my best in bein’ there for him. That’s not what I was lost about, babe.” He said, shaking his head as he rubbed small, soothing circles on her stomach. “I just don’t know how I’m gonna get it to work, is all… with You ‘n the baby… and Ben…”
He swore under his breath again, sighing softly. “We’re states away and I’m… I feel like I’m bein’ torn in tow. If I’m in Indiana it’s not fair to you, and if I’m here then it’s not fair to Ben… just fuckin’ sucks, Jo.”
Jo’s breath caught in her throat. She needed to say something to comfort him, but honestly she couldn’t think of anything. She couldn’t say that she wanted all of him because that wasn’t fair to him or…the kid. And she couldn’t tell him to go because she wanted him with her. This was not how she thought this would go. Maybe Lisa would’ve come on to him or most likely a case, but this…she wasn’t processing. Dean had a kid and she was pregnant with his.
She was quiet for a moment trying to at least think of something reassuring to say to him. It was gonna hurt, probably for awhile. And they weren’t gonna solve this dilemma of distance today or even now. Jo wasn’t thinking straight and Dean clearly had been thinking about this too much.
“I know,” she replied finally, giving him a small smile. She reached over and touched his cheek gently. Everything ached right now. Dean’s last months were going to spent traveling back and forth between his two families and it hurt, she knew there wasn’t another choice but it didn’t make the pain lessen.
“Don’t worry about me. I can handle going on without you, hell I get you all the time so it’s only fair he gets you now,” Jo said, keeping her tone as light as possible. She let go of his cheek and rubbed her lips together. If she’d had any energy, she probably would have yelled. But she didn’t see a point. It wasn’t like he’d kept this from her and it had happened long before she came along so she’d just have to deal.
His gaze had fallen to his hand on her stomach after he’d stopped talking and listened to her reply intently. He let her words sink in, marinate for a while before he responded. What she said, whether it meant to sting or not, had cut him pretty deep. It was like adding salt to an open sore and he tried his best not to flinch in the aftermath.
Logically, he knew that Joanna didn’t mean it the way it came out but all he could keep playing over and over in his head was, I can handle going on without you and Dean was internally falling apart. He only had a few months left so a comment like that should comfort him and make him feel better. All it was doing was ripping at his organs and flesh like a secreted knife.
Clearing his throat, he gave her a soft smile, doing his damnedest to hide the wounds she’d just created within him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He said, giving her a kiss on the lips and patting her leg affectionately.
“Thanks for taking this so well… you’re awesome.” Dean commented, sitting up straighter as he glanced over at the window over Jo’s shoulder. The sun was starting to go down now and he remembered Sam still sitting with his book. “So, we’re okay?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers, rubbing her leg where his hand still sat.
@Joanna
Jo watched Dean’s face when he mentioned Lisa. His face turned nervous which made Jo’s heart speed up. Something definitely wasn’t right. And it was big. But she gulped down her own thoughts telling herself not to jump the gun like she always did.
Then he looked down and almost sealed the information he was about to tell her. This was bad, and it was the serious bad, not just they’d run out of peanut butter bad. She frowned slightly watching him stumble over his words. What was so…then it hit her. The moment he’d said the kid’s name, she knew. She knew from the tone in his voice and her heart went from beating fast to almost stopping. Her palms began to sweat as her mind raced with possibilities. She barely heard his confirmation as her mouth dropped open only slightly hoping it would help start breathing again. No such luck.
He had a kid. With someone else. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling as tears pooled up in her eyes, but she was brought back to reality when she heard the desperate tone in Dean’s voice.
She put on a smile for him, squeezing his hands. She’d help him, that was all she could think about right now. Other, more hurtful thoughts had to pushed away at least for the moment.
“Babe, you do know what to do,” Jo said, licking her lips. She paused for a moment forcing her own confused feelings back down. She shook her head for a moment hoping that would help.
“I think…” she paused trying to find the words, “I think you need to be apart of his life. I don’t think you could live with yourself if you weren’t.” She had to stop talking after that sentence finding that was all she had the strength for. She gave him another smile, forcing everything back down.
Now that he’d told her, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Not completely, but the load definitely lessened and he leaned into her, wedging between her and the back of the couch. Dean was still propped on his elbow enough to still look at her fully, nodding at her statement.
“Yeah, that was a given. Now that I know he’s mine, I’m gonna do my best in bein’ there for him. That’s not what I was lost about, babe.” He said, shaking his head as he rubbed small, soothing circles on her stomach. “I just don’t know how I’m gonna get it to work, is all… with You ‘n the baby… and Ben…”
He swore under his breath again, sighing softly. “We’re states away and I’m… I feel like I’m bein’ torn in tow. If I’m in Indiana it’s not fair to you, and if I’m here then it’s not fair to Ben… just fuckin’ sucks, Jo.”
(Source: theimpalasbitch)
@Joanna
Jo switched off the water and grabbed a towel. She nodded absently, not really trusting when he asked that anymore. He’d said the exact same thing before he left and well her gut wasn’t giving her the best feeling about this time either. She put the towel back down and put her hands over his.
“For you Winchester, I’ve got two,” she teased with a smile, hoping to keep the mood light in the room. She really wanted to just lie down for an hour or a week, but if he wanted to talk, she’d talk.
“Let’s sit down though, my feet are fu-reaking killing me,” Jo said catching herself. She was trying her best not to cuss with Peanut literally being right there, but it took more than a little effort on her part.
He gave her a soft smile when she agreed to hear him out and when she asked if they could sit down, he couldn’t agree with her more. This wasn’t something you told a pregnant woman when she was exhausted and standing in the middle of the kitchen. If he could wait to tell her, he would, but he didn’t want to make it seem like he was keeping something from her and things like this tended to come back to her.
He nodded, heading to the living room and they sat together on the couch. Dean wanted nothing more than to lounge back and take it easy. Just prop his feet up on the table and forget Indiana completely, but he couldn’t. Joanna had, however, and he felt better that she was getting comfortable. The more comfortable she was the better.
“So, Indiana… Lisa said she wanted to see me…” Dean began, swallowing hard and forcing himself to meet Joanna’s eyes. He took her hands in his, trying with the ring on her finger and it offered him much more comfort than he deserved. “You know about us. I told you about our history and…”
His eyes fell then, ultimately unable to witness her reaction when he told her. Cursing under his breath, he rubbed the skin below his bottom lip, buying himself a little time. “She’s got a son, Ben, and… he just turned nine…” He was grasping at straws now, finally deciding just to spit it out. Beating around the bush wasn’t helping either of them and he’d deal with what came next as it unfolded.
“Ben’s mine, Joanna,” He said, moving closer to her and finding her eyes again. “That’s why she called. Ben was talkin’ about me, said he missed me and she felt guilty for lyin’… and I got a test done. Jo, he’s mine, and I don’t know what the hell to do.”
(Source: theimpalasbitch)
Technically you do swallow…its not like you spit it out after you go down on me
i never said i didn’t, babe… but you’re right.
